I am thinking of leaving it all, I am thinking of leaving it all

Alright everyone. The day has come. You can be excited again. Wait with bated breath for every hilarious or inspiring post I will create, like you always have. I know it's been hard for these couple of months, but the new blog is here.

You can find it at http://www.anotherpatrickcollins.com/blog

It's still under work, so if you see weird links, or it's down when you check it, don't worry, I'm on top of it.

Thanks for checking.

In the end

Things didn't pan out and Right Angle Publishing couldn't sponsor my visa.

As this is a blog about my time in Australia and I am no longer in Australia, this blog will officially be retired and kept as a time capsule thingy-ma-bobber.

There will be a new one, which I will link from here, but until then, please visit my new website at http://www.anotherpatrickcollins.com.

I will be moving to NYC on July 12 and am still looking for work.

It's gonna take a lot of love, to get us through the night

You might notice, Pat In Australia is experiencing a bit of a comeback.

I am attributing this to the fact that I feel like I should be writing more, but don't have much other than my boring life to actually write about.

And before you say "Oh Pat, you should write a book" let's both just take a step back and think about what that books would include. In my head, about the only thing that I could write about is the relationship with my parents, my INCREDIBLY stupid years in college, lots and lots of sex...both good and bad but none of which is going to be terribly interesting and in most cases would be a reason why nearly all of my friends WOULDN'T read this book, and Australia.

I wouldn't want to read that. Would you? Nahhhhhh.

So that's where I'm at, a want to write more, an urge to be more prolific and express some creativity, but without an outlet. What do writers who aren't going to be novelists write about to...you know, write and be creative?

In other news, I had my first Dr. Pepper in 11 months today. Totally great. It's somewhat insane how my body reacts to food I haven't had in a long time. I start salivating excessively and basically become a cross between a little gross redheaded monster and an 11 year old on a sugar rush. But the Dr. Pepper was great, and I don't even really like Dr. Pepper that much. In the case there was also Mountain Dew Code Red...and I almost got one of those too, but you know, two soft drinks in one sitting would make me fat.

Updating the resume has been a trial; everything is in size 10 font. I need to get my machete attack up on this CV and get it back to something legible. Oh and in case you didn't click the link, what's up with machete's and Australians? Yeah, click it sucka.

Went to see The Scare Thursday, and once again, Too Many Creeps (a clubnight) totally failed. First it was Wendy James' horrible DJ set, and now it was by booking the band Madonna. Who sound like the identity crisis of a 15 year old boy. Somewhere between screams and breakdowns, Primus inspired bass solos (with a blind melon tee shirt), and a ska band without horns (but a micro Korg!) lies Madonna. And way too many people like this band. There were at least 5 people REALLY into it at the show. Way. Too. Many.

Anyways, The Scare were terrible, and I thought I gave them a good writeup so I felt extra used. The song on myspace is alright, but not even whiskey could save me after the others. I had to just smoke some meth and then go machete attack some kids down the street. Oh just kidding.

There are two promising parties coming up soon though... A Milli: The Party (of course a Lil Wayne, WEEZY F BABY theme) and Ferris Bueller's Gay Off. That gay night has a good sense of humor. Especially since they throw it at a place called Brown Alley. Ew.

Oh you should check out the latest post (it's pretty old) on Elizabeth Carey Smith's blog. She's the shit. She's married to a boy who's the shit. She used to be the senior designer for BUST. I have a lot of secret admiration for her, it might be creepy of me. But I totally agree with everything she says in the latest post.

http://dangerousgirlinsafetytown.blogspot.com/

I'm off to find some Mountain Dew. And chocolate. Being skinny is for the birds.

p.s. - I've found a new favourite Neil Young song, as the title indicates.

There was nothing in the world, that I ever wanted more, than to never feel the breaking apart

Something that most people know about me, is I'm extremely emotional when it comes to commercials. Here's the latest tearjerker.



Other than that, I'm watching Law and Order for the first time in months, and I'm so excited it's kind of ridiculous.

Note to invading aliens, avoid this town, like this town avoided us

So Right Angle gave me an employment contract like the day after my last post. I'm still not too fussed over it. I counteroffered, and they will get back to me soon I'm sure. Then I will have a better idea of what I'm doing with my life...but right now this is what is on the table.

Start website for self promotion.
I'm trying to get together some portfolio so I can start pitching for freelance work in the States. But I need to have it somewhere they can access it, so a website seems prudent. I need a logo, so if any of your graphic designers want to make me a quick logo for the price of a couple of beers, let's do it.

Be in Colorado, Missouri, Utah/Arizona, Illinois, and NY this summer.
Yes yes yes. 6 states. Colorado and Missouri in June, Chicago at the start of July, Utah/Arizona middle July, and NYC till August. I'm really excited for home. Really. And to see lovely faces.

See you then.

Facepaint party.

Jmarms sent me popcorn and customs didn't eat it themselves.

Maybe one day we can go back, when everything is slow

Woah. Bet you didn't see this update coming! Neither did I really, since I'm just sitting at work waiting for edits to come back so I can...do more work and thought "oh yeah, I need to update that sometime."

So the whole idea was this blog would update people in my life as to new things happening to me. The problem is...new things sorta stopped happening. I know, you don't care, you just want some content. Something to laugh at or oooooh at or aweeee to. Let's start with the last, awe at this. MY FACE.

That's the most up to date picture of me. I was in the office, where we apparently don't have heating. I don't get it, the indoors is as cold as the outdoors? That makes no sense, I thought that is the exact reason why humans developed buildings. If temperature isn't an issue, why don't we just all have a giant piece of wood over our heads to protect from rain? Eff you Melbourne insulation.

I've been working, pretty normal. I have a new contract with Beck's (the beer) and am doing album reviews on minimal and microhouse techno albums. As well as a 5 song mixtape. You can find them at this blog for the UBERSELEKTOR. hahahaha. Yes, I know.

In addition to that work, I'm doing some extra things for Hot Spots and Tourism Victoria. How about that? now I really am a tourist writing the tourism manuals now. Speaking of tourists, check out Penny and I hanging out at ACTION ZONE (CLICK IT). I was totally hanging out with a 7 year old up there.

Okay, I have more pictures on my camera that I haven't transferred yet, so I will put those in ANOTHER new post. Karaoke + other things.

Rightangle is working on getting me a visa, but I'm not really holding my breath anymore. Things looked real good and then I got a little bit of a slap in the face, so I'm not to fussed about it. If I get it, great. I have a job and like living in Australia...hopefully I'll get some great friends and not feel like such an outsider if I have a 4 year work visa. If I don't get it, great. I can come home and move to a place where I know I have friends that I miss dearly. I'm looking at you New York, Chicago, and San Francisco.

And on a final note. See you in June. I'll be home on June 18th at 2:30pm. I expect to eat a lot of BBQ, mexican, steak, and ranch. Not together. Oh and New York and Chicago, see you in July. If you want to hang, let me know.

More to come soon! In the meantime, check what I've been up to AT WORK. It's funnier than this!

And I could dream of things you've never seen, Alli please

I am in love with this website. No no, not this one, THIS one. One of my friends Tait started or manages it or does something hefty for it. A website for junior creatives trying to make it in the industry? Yes! It really makes me sit in my bed while being completely unproductive and get motivated, if only motivated to put on clothes and maybe think about going outside. Junior is amazing.

After reading this article about Twitter/internet publishing...I have decided that this blog is definitely one of the lame ones that is not entertaining at all. Sorry losers, look like I fooled you! Have fun being bored while reading this! Oh and I might get an iPhone and start Tweeting updates instead!

I ventured out to zone 2 today. I have never been out there before, because I have basically been living the (close to) city life for 7 months straight. I went out to visit my friend Franc and her puppy Rocky, who is a beagle that can jump about 4.5 ft from the ground. It's very cartoon like, and he'll run around in a big circle and run straight for you and try to jump off of you. Jackie Chan style, only a human being instead of a brick wall. Oh and the dog can't flip, he just barrel rolls.

While in zone 2, there was an earthquake. I didn't feel it, but Franc did, so that's how I know.

MAKEOVER MARCH! Most of you know this, but I'm going to go on a shopping spree because I want a makeover. I feel like a slob in the band tees and jeans, that same lame outfit I've been wearing for years, so I'm going to class it up a bit. You just get ready, pretty soon I'm going to be model on lookbook.

There is a gay night in Melbourne called Fabrik and I am DJ'ing the next one. I got the best slot (12 to 1:30) and am going to have to impress. I told everyone I'll be wearing the short shorts, so I guess it won't be too hard! No really, what the fuck am I going to play?

Probably this new Juan Maclean that is like The Human League updated for 2010, this record is off the fucking chain.
Oh and Romeo by Basement Jaxx because I've gotten an unhealthy obsession with it again. I remember I had this and red alert on vinyl back when I was going to be a superstar DJ in high school. So amazing.
Other than that, who knows. Most likely just some of this disco mix that I whipped up. Check it outtttt! (click download unless you want to sign up to soundcloud)

In other music news, The Pains of Being Pure at Heart is what all you assholes should've been freaking out about instead of the Vivian Girls. I am highly disappointed in the latter, but the former makes up for it by being nearly perfect.

I just want Kate Moss to hold me, When I break down on your Ducati

I haven't talked to my mother or father in quite a while. I need to get back to doing that. It's just so hard when my internet doesn't work because then skype doesn't work then my communications skills decline drastically. But hopefully that will be over, we just signed up for a better internet plan, and I think it will all be good. I might even have fast enough internet to look at porn, the cornerstone of the internet.

Joan got back from Vietnam in one piece and brought me a present (pictures at the end). It's pretty awesome and I like it's little perch over my bed.

Her trip was great and makes me very envious. I need to get my stuff together and get out of Melbourne for a bit. Sydney is the obvious and easy choice, plus I have a place to stay. I think I'll probably get up there in the next month.

My father bought me a camera for christmas, and being the snob that I am, I didn't like it that much. Mainly because if I have a camera that's sorta chunky and doesn't fit in my pocket...I'm not going to use all the time. Therefore...I traded it in and got a smaller one! It's pretty nice, and I'm excited to have a real camera again. Tell me what you want pictures of!

My friend Danae needed help with her art installation so on Friday, Joan and I went around with her to the gallery and hung tongues covered in glitter on a wall in the shape of a xylophone. It was interesting. You can find it on Facebook, I was tagged as a tongue.

I might have some exciting news coming up, but we will all just have to wait to hear back about it. I'm just excited, it might get my hands back into music again.



As I said, I got new bedroom stuff and rearranged things, check it out.

I'm Never In My Waking Life, Dreaming Is My All The Time

There has been so little going on that I don't even know what to post about!

I have just been existing. Nothing fancy, just going to work and coming home.

Kerensa was an original housemate who's bedroom set I was borrowing and she finally called for it back the other day. I thought it was going to be a really really annoying process to try and find new everything but I randomly met Carla, a friend of my friend Kirsten, and she is moving to Europe for good and had whole bedroom set to give away. How lucky am I? As Penny said when we got an entire corner booth on a Friday night (my birthday) at Double Happiness, "Patrick Collins, you are living a charmed life."

Sorta seems like it at times.

Anyways, the bedroom is awesome. Better than before, and if I could figure out how to flip my fucking webcam (which is installed upside down in my computer, good job Lenovo) I would take a picture. Soon. I even got a new doona, doona cover, and pillows. Yeahhh!

Birthday was good, drinks and dinner with good people, that was about it. But it turned out good. I think for my birthday present to myself (my father bought me shoes! Those Polo shoes I'm obsessed with! YEAH!) I think I'm going to buy something really boring, like a USB flash drive. I really wanted a mimobot because I'm a nerd, or one of these branch ones, but they are too expensive.

I think I'm going to pay the $45 to go see Rival Schools and Saves the Day. I have been wanting to see RS for 8 years. That's worth it I figure. Plus they only have like 1 album (and an EP) so they can't really screw up and play a whole bunch of horrible new stuff or something. Saves the Day on the other hand...

I slept about 3 hours last night because some horrible hippies were staying with us and invited all their friends over, and then proceeded to pull an all night rager outside my window. How considerate. I really don't get people some times and how they can be so disrespectful. I bet my mom would be proud to hear me say that. Everyone else I know is like "Yeah right Pat, you're a giant jerk too, jerkface."

Threethousand is throwing a benefit for the bushfires. Check it.

Last night was Carla's going away drinks, tonight is this private Wrangler party on the rooftop, tomorrow is the benefit. Now if only I had people I like to go with, why don't you all just move down here already?

In other news, I had my first fig. It was alright, but they weren't the best figs, so says my housemate. They were totally awesome though because they came from my fig tree in my back yard. Booyah.

Okay, I'm boring today, and everyday.

I'm going to Sydney soon. For sure.

On The Last Day Of Your Life, Don't Forget To Die

Just to ease your worried little minds.

This day wasn't as bad as the article makes it seem (headline: Worst Day in History), but it is the end of the world in Australia.

I'm sorta near these fires, in fact my mom and I drove through a couple of these places I think, but obviously, I will be fine.

The north is flooding like crazy, but that's the north, and it's full of people who say 'crikey!' anyways.

I'm safe and it actually rained and was cold enough for a cardigan today!

In other news:

I Don't Want To Wake Up, Knowing I Don't Have A Future

Let's see.

I saw Buraka Som Sistema, I saw Tim Fite, I saw Daedelus, and I saw Todd Terje.

Laneway festival is a disaster, and Melbourne needs a real city festival. People putting it on were really dumb and decided to put Girl Talk on the 2nd smallest stage and caused a riot. Gooooooood job dickheads.

Work is going really well and they might sponsor me for a Visa. Here we go...

Anyways, that's all I really have to update on. Oh and my list of pet peeves, which I have found out mostly happen in the bathroom. Let's start this.
#1 - WHO THE FUCK DOESN'T DRY THEIR FEET BEFORE LEAVING THE SHOWER. I don't know how many times I have walked into the bathroom and the entire floor is wet because someone just hopped out and thought they would mop the floor with their feet. Leave that to japanese babies.
#2 - HANG UP YOUR TOWEL. I used to flip my lid at Stacey for this. It's so easy to just hang it up and when you leave it in a damp pile in the floor, well that does whole lotta good for no one. The good news is that Stacey changed this habit when she lived with me, so luckily there is hope for the rest of you.
#3 - CLOSE YOUR MOUTH WITH THE TOOTHBRUSH. Really. Try it sometime, you CAN still move the thing across your teeth, promise. Why do I hate it so much? Because there is toothpaste all over every surface near the sink, and on the mirror, and all because you sit there with your mouth hangin' open so you can manuever and get all the angles right. Stop it.

Okay that was probably really boring to read, but I thought it was weird that all those things happen in the bathroom and all of them make me angry angry angrrrry.

Song of the week? The Shout Out Louds - Impossible (Possible Remake by Studio).

I miss not being mis-used, I miss it all, so I guess I lose

I just watched a little kid run down the stairs at the library, and run right into the glass door. He just said 'owie' and kept running. God kids are awesome. I miss you little niece and nephew.

Let's see...things that have happened...

I put out, the 4th issue I have been a part of with threethousand this week. It was pretty good. In fact Penny said it was the 4th BEST issue we've ever done. Something I think everyone should take a glance at though is these awesome bike helmets. So cool. It has been going really well, and I feel capable and like I'm not fucking it up too much. Yay.

I found a work visa I can get if I want to stay. It's a 4 year work visa for a specific company. I would have to get Rightangle Publishing to sponsor me, but that might not be that hard. I guess it's up to them whether or not I stay at this point. Well I could stay illegaly, but I've already told many of you that I'm coming back in June/July and should probably do that.

Hey! I'm coming back in June! My mom didn't even know this so...I thought I would put it on here. Tenative plans are to visit my Grandma in Missouri, spend some time with my momma, spend some time on Lake Powell with my father, and then be in NYC and Chicago for some amount of time...probably a couple weeks in NYC. If I'm coming back, then I'd jet back here to Oz, but if not...I will probably just settle into NYC. So yeah, look forward to a visit from me if you're in Colorado/NYC/Chicago. But if anyone wants to give me a job from any of those places, that'd be pretty sweet...ya know, if I'm staying. :)

I've been pretty obsessed with this song by Best Friends Forever, and the Wholphin DVDs that my neighbor loaned to me, and the tennis. I just watched a 5.5 HOUR match between Nadal and Verdasco last night. It was EPIC. Oh and this made me laugh so fucking hard.

I'm sort of hating Australia right now. It has been between 107 and 115 degrees for the last 4 days or something. It is insane. I can't handle this weather and it's supposed to happen again mid Feb. Greatttt.

My birthday is coming up, and it's going to be strange. I don't know who all is going to be around (Joan will be in Vietnam) and who all is going to...care really? I don't really mind, I'm not a big birthday person really, but I would like to just go out and get drunk and have a good time...who knows though.

I need a dancing partner. It's ridiculous, no one down here wants to go to the dj nights, the good ones OR the bad (mainstreamy) ones. I'm at a loss of what to do, because going by yourself and trying to dance with someone is...gross. But I need to dance. I neeeeed to.

Okay, there is not much else to this. I am just existing, andit's going well. The new job rules, and I'm just sorta biding my time to see what pans out. Hopefully some DJ gigs...hopefully.

And I have a new mix, but I can't upload it because it takes forever no matter what shitty internet connection I'm on so...I'm sorry.

Music stuff:
Conor got me into this band Souled American from Chicago, it's old but it's really good. I also have been enjoying some new stuff like Fly Girls! the new souljazz release of female MCs, Barzin's new album that's fantastic, M. Ward's newest, Mirah's leaked new record (A)spera, and the new Emmy The Great full length. I have also fallen back into some Silver Jews (so good), The Tallest Man On Earth (how did I miss this?), Jaymay (because I can listen to it without bawling now), and 4 new (to my collection) Kleenex Girl Wonder CDs that I found. I want to make Graham Smith's babies.

I have a lot to say abou the new Animal Collective, but mostly that you all should stop shitting yourselves over it because you look ignorant, like this is the first Animal Collective album you've ever heard.

Jesus get over it.

Love you!

I hate myself when I'm alone, It's just with you I feel okay

So yeah, Google analytics tells me you people have stopped coming to my blog. What a surprise! Down 7%? Well I guess that isn't bad when time spent publishing content is down about, 80%! Look at me go. I'm a solid investment.

Really things that have changed in my life since last time:
1) Started new job this week.
2) Started writing for the big newspaper down here, The Age.
3) Feeling lonely.

The new job is good. It's a bit stressful, but I guess since I didn't have any stress for the last, oh, 8 months...it's alright. I write a lot more, which will probably drain me of any wit that I normally have, so be warned...the blog is not a place for funny business. For that, you can go to http://www.threethousand.com.au/author/patrick-collins/.
But yeah, the job is good. We had a super stressful week because we lacked some content. We wrapped it up alright, and found a really cool shop with a cool rooftop that said we could use it for...anything. Cool. Rooftop party series here we come.
The worst part was not having all of our content by the deadline...but I guess having a week where a lot of shit went wrong was a good way to gauge what needed to be fixed to get us back on track and what I could do to help that. Which is mainly try to organize shit because we arn't that organized...and kill people when they miss their deadlines. Or at least maim them. I guess maiming would be better, preferably if it wasn't to their hands...so they could still write. But yes, $240/wk + any other work I get...I'm swimming in cash compared to before!

The other week Penny (my editor for those of you new to the story) told me she needed a CD to review because *gasp* she was writing a CD review for The Age instead of her normal art stuff. I gave her the Brian Eno & David Byrne one, I mean, who can't write about those two? She did really good and told me that the paper hadn't gotten all the submissions and that I should write one up. So I did, for Belle & Sebastian's BBC Sessions. Voila, they printed it, asked for another, and so this week I got 'CD of the week' in a half page spread. Looks good. Too bad none of you will see it, unless you ask my parents to have a look at the clippings I'm sending them (I promise, I will!)

Joan has started on her traveling spree...which means in the whole of Australia, there is no one that has known me over 6 months. The people who are closest to me have only known me for about 3. Weird. It makes me realize two things. 1) I don't really feel okay by myself, 2) no matter how many times you tell yourself 'oh friends take time' it is hard to believe. It'll happen, or it won't and I'll move back to the people who really matter. Whatever, it just makes now...sorta lonely.

My feet are like...peeling on the bottoms...near my toes. It's gross. I hope it's not like some zombie virus taking over my body from the lower extremeties up. Probably not.

I spent the day on the beach, reading, and hanging out. It was nice. Now I think I'm going to go out and sit in my hammock and listen to music. Ah the life of an Associate Editor.
Yeah.
Hah.

You Gotta Play Tough My Love

Christmas is weird when you're across the world.

I mean, obvious stuff like it's hot down here is something I can get my head around. It's hot in the states in certain places too. No biggie.

The thing that really seems to get me is because they don't have any holidays that are massively celebrated at this time of year (like Thanksgiving or Halloween) the Christmas shit has been up for ages. It's like, when we get upset that the Christmas stuff is on the shelves before Halloween...only for months longer.

The biggest thing I missed about Christmas was this. or this. And I guess my family is up there too, but really...I got to talk to all of them so that was fine. I don't have the ability to make the other stuff actually happen, therefore I was very full of...candy and nut mix and whatever else was in the box from my mom. I might have even eaten some saltines. I like those though, so that's actually a plus. SPEAKING OF SALTINES...they come in a sheet here. Like 4 little crackers together rather than individual crackers. I was told it was so you could make a 'cracker sandwich.' Sounds horrible.

I made out like a bandit for Christmas, and just in time. I am proud to say that a large portion of my present went to pay my rent today. Yay! I also found that I may not have to get my shirts and clothes tailored for the rest of my life. Those bastards in L.A. at American Apparel actually make stuff that fits me. Too bad they don't use little children to produce it. Like, really, I love that aspect to my clothes...a little soul goes a long way in terms of my clothing. Oh and AA overcharges for everything, but you know, whatever...it fits. What this means is: TO ALL THAT LIKE TO GET ME CLOTHES AS PRESENTS...buy them at AA (small or extra small) and then we can avoid both of us feeling awful because they don't fit.

Oh and the beer pamphlet I contributed on came out finally. Too bad my section (the playlist) is completely fucked as far as formatting and typos go. Thank god it wasn't my fault. Hey, I made it to a masthead though!




(While searching for honey baked ham pictures I found this. Hilarious.)

I Could Fill Up A Lake With All The Things I Didn't Say

Okay the mission of the blog obviously didn't work while my father was in town. Short sweet often posts will be the norm now though, promise.

This one will have some pictures and that's about it.

I got a promotion. I am now the associate editor of http://www.threethousand.com.au
Now I work 2 days a week instead of 1. How neat.

The weather was shit while dad was here, but I still went to Meredith (I think there are pictures on Joan's blog...click it over there on the right) and had a good time. Final Fantasy was great, the Mountain Goats played with an acoustic guitar instead of all electric like in Denver, and they played 'The Best Ever Death Metal Band In Denton' which is a great song I never thought I'd hear live. There was a couple other great things about Meredith, and you can see my tops and bottoms here.

Dad and I ate well, he got sick, but not before we did a few things that were really great. We shopped a lot, so merry christmas! It's like 75 or so here in Australia. Hot christmas is going to be totally random.

The radio show is going well, the program director gave us a whole lot of really harsh criticism. Whatever. If he doesn't like it he can kick us off. (that's not to say we won't try to fix some stuff and go along with it)

The work Christmas party was good, no DJ set for me. But whatever! We all got just a LITTLE bit out of hand, but it was great.

Happy late Channukah to all you jewish friends. We know you killed Christ but that's totally fine if you don't believe in religion anyway! Keep it up.

Merry Christmas to everyone, here are some pictures.


Emily (one of my housemates) is leaving and it was her going away party yesterday. So we sat in the garden, manufactured a shady couch area, and had an incredible day of drinking in the 80 degree weather that my father had just missed out on. In fact, this is where I am typing this entry from, because it's another great day, and drinking a beer out here is almost perfect.



These are all pictures from the Great Ocean Road. It's a coastal highway that goes along the most breathtaking edge of Australia. From top: The 12 Apostles (only some in this picture), Me being a douche on the phone, Me hanging out on a beach.


These two are for the people who ever ask me about my neice and nephew. They rule. Anders up top and Cecily down with the fish. Cuties.


These last two are for people who always ask me about Lake Powell and my father's houseboat. They are sorta blurry, but who cares.

That's that.

The Telephone, It Just Doesn't Seem To Do

Jesus. This is like life homework these days.

I have resolved to a) make these posts more often so I don't have giant entries to pummel through, and b) make them funnier because they have been lacking in the funny department lately.

Sierra came and visited!
I could write volumes about this, but we're going to go with the quick synopsis + pictures. Phillip Beach, Zoo, Museums, Thanksgiving, and lots of awesome bar crawling.

Pictures: My twice baked potatoes, our thanksgiving, me driving (on the wrong side of the road, with the steering wheel on the wrong side too) and looking metal.

It was tons of fun, and really nice to just hang out with her. It's always super easy and we get along really well so it was just like hanging out back in Boulder, minus youtube clips since my internet is slow. Oh except this clip about Obama supporters having nothing to do now.

Work is going good...still struggling to get the music page together but I think I might have a way to at least start getting some new stuff done. I am now going to be hosting an hour long radio show on Triple R for Three Thousand (along with Penny, my editor, and Kirsten, another contributor). Basically this information makes a lot of my friends down here sorta jealous as Triple R is...well...the hippest. Along with this, I'm going to try to start the music coverage on Three Thousand with a music filled podcast...hopefully that will get me a bit more $. As well, I got a project for the city of Melbourne's Lost & Found. It's like a tourist pamphlet. I will be actually published. In print! But yeah, an American who has been in the city for 5 months writing about the secret places in Melbourne that you have to visit when you come. What. The. Hell. I've also done some more interviews that should get me more $$. Still waiting on it though.

Fran, my housemate went back to Alice Springs for 2 months. And Emily is leaving in January. It's going to be weird, I have to find a new housemate with Sheridan. Which will be interesting.

I talked with Jen the other day for 12 hours over the internet because we are nerds. My eyes and carpal tunnel felt fine. Really.

I went to my first rooftop cinema last night, it was pretty crazy. This movie called Liquid Sky which is basically like a cult classic psychedelic movie. I wish I did drugs so I could have actually understood the damn thing. It was pretty funny though...I suggest it for anyone that likes (appreciates?) crap like Moonwalker.

My father has decided to come visit. It was about as random as could be, but he got a good deal and will be here this Sunday through the 20th! So I get to do the whole tourist thing again! No really! I'm excited! Again!

Now...my current dilemmas:
a) What do I want for Christmas?
b) What do I get for people for Christmas?
c) Where do I get a credit card to afford these things?
d) How do I emigrate to Australia?

Okay...more updates coming soon...promise.

p.s. - Bookmark this page and this page and you can see all the articles I write whenever one gets posted.

You'll Be Hanging Round In Corner Stores, Trying To Catch Somone's Eye

Okay okay whirlwind update.

Since my mom has been here, I have been just bumming around with her. She got here on a national holiday. A very very important one. Australians take the 4^th of November off to bet on, and watch, a single horse race. No, seriously.

We went to Dumplings since it was about the only thing open, (the cheapest eats in town!) which she loved. She was a bit apprehensive since I told her the place had been shut down many times for health violations…but it’s a Melbourne institution and experience, so whatever. E. Coli? Psh, we can handle it.

Since Dumplings we have moved on to bigger and better things. We went and did all the city touristy stuff, like pictures of Flinders St. Station, St. Paul’s, walk along the river, go through the laneways and most important of all: my office!

Anyways, she has about a million pictures that I will post sometime soon.

We went to the NGV again (which has all new stuff!) and the botanical gardens, which are like this dreamland fairytale grove right outside the city. It was a mindtrip. Went up to the Shrine of Remembrance and the Eureka Skydeck (88 floors up!)…both of which offer a really cool view of the city. The Skydeck lets you go out in a glass enclosed room sticking straight out from the building. We didn’t, because I didn’t want to piss myself and cry in front of all the nice people, but it looked pretty intense.

We have eaten at all the good restaurants: Von Haus, Blue Chillies, Concorde Crepes, Claypots, and Cookie…which was incredibly overhyped, but at least we got Trampoline chai ice cream to cool off the insane burning of our mouths from the ‘way too many chillies’ found in Cookie’s Crunchy Fish Salad and Duck Salad. Thanks Cookie, couldn’t taste shit for half this week.

Joan and I went out to see the Lucksmiths for their album release. It was really good, and the new album is really good, and the band that opened just blew me away. Some of the best music I’ve heard in ages, and I think the best band in Melbs. Find them on myspace, The Harpoons.

Mom and I booked a last minute trip to Cairns (pro: Cannes…pro: CANS) to go out on the great barrier reef. Sadly mom couldn’t snorkel really well, so she took the submarine tour instead, what a pity right? Snorkeling was AMAZING though. It really is like they make it seem in those stupid nature programs. It’s not stupid though, totally amazing to swim all day with fish and coral and rays and shit. I saw a fish the size of me, it was a bit scary to be that close…but oh well, no stingray tail through the heart no foul. Oh but I did get all stung up by some jellyfish, although seeing them up close was WELL FUCKING WORTH IT. I love jellyfish. Plus we got to eat kangaroo, crocodile, and barramundi in the TASTE OF AUSTRALIA! (which was just an overpriced meal at Buccaneer Bill’s Seafood Inn, no, I’m not joking. That’s the name of the restaurant.)

We got out to Phillip Island again, JUST in time to see the penguin parade. Really, it’s just a mass of tiny little penguins marching up from the beach all the way their little habitat and homes. They are really cute, but they don’t let you take pictures of them, so we have none, even if mom tried to sneak a few. The beaches on Green Island (where we went snorkelling) are coral, and hurt, and suck x100 so it was a nice change of pace to go back to that massive beach I had taken pictures of and posted up here before. The weather was great, and we got out on time, got fish and chips at San Remo, and then drove the couple hours down to Wilson’s Prom. It was really really cool, the beach we went to in Wilson’s Prom squeaked under your feet when you walked and it was such a weird experience. Joan and I got videos…which will be up soon. I guess it’s the only beach in Victoria that squeaks, but up north they squeak a lot. It’s just something to do with the fine sand, although wikipedia said it was volcanic crystals or something. Whatever wikipedia, make me sound like an idiot some more. I should never trust you.

All and all I think it has been a great trip, it’s been wonderful for mom, considering she hasn’t been out of Colorado area (surrounding states) in about 15 years. Hopefully she catches the travel bug.

Anyways, other than the mom stuff, not much has been happening. I interviewed Mike Relm a week or so ago, and it got put up on the Good Vibrations festival website for everyone to see…which is neat. I interviewed Digitalism for a festival they are coming to Oz for. It was really fun, and really cute. Jens (one of the Digitalism guys) was really fun to chat with. I finally have a full on meeting with Barrie and Robbie and Frunch to propose my ideas to increase the music coverage of the site. I gave them my big one a few weeks ago but didn’t have adequate time to talk about implementing it. I also don’t know what I’m going to propose to make a music blog that isn’t totally lame…besides what I already gave them. We will see. Hopefully thought it gets put into motion because I could use the raise/money I am expecting from this.

In other news: Ginger Beer is a fucking beautiful creature, even if it is non-alcoholic.

Well here are some trip pictures to keep you held over!

Oh and I got a haircut and shaved my beard. How cool eh?!

I Want Poetry, Music, and Some Maps

So my mother gets here tomorrow. HOW EXCITING!?

I don't know what we are going to do, but we will figure it out. Probably a day trip to Phillip Island and maybe Wilson's Prom. I don't know what the second one is (besides a little penusula), but supposedly there is a beach on it that that squeaks when you walk on the sand. What? I don't get it either. Australia is full of crazy shit.

My mind was blown the other day because I found this:

Ubiquity for Firefox from Aza Raskin on Vimeo.

I really don't know how to cope with this stuff. Technology is getting really cool.

I have been at the library all day stealing the fast internet to download stuff. I have fast internet at home again, but I really don't want to use it all up real quick. The girls and I still have to upgrade it so we have more than like 2GB of data to go through.

I watched Candyman last night with my housemate Emily. She is pretty rad, and she's sorta Jewish I guess. The first Australian Jew I have met. It was always weird to me how many Jewish people I knew back in Boulder...because I never met any outside of that. Growing up I knew none, but come college, I'm flooded by them. They are everywhere.

Anyway, the point of this Jewish tirade is...Candyman is a good horror movie from the dude who did Hellraiser but would have been better if the story wasn't so lame. Phillip Glass did the music.

Today I've been trying real hard to be witty, because I wanted to finish my work for this week before momma gets here but...I'm just not funny. And before you say "Oh Pat you were never funny." Don't. Because I just wrote in a newsletter that gets sent to TONS of Australians that thier grandmas were hot. THAT IS HUMOR. (HERE)

But once again, the point is I'm not witty today, and I'm sorry for it because it makes this post horrible and normal.

Here's something to make it better I guess:

p.s. Let's hope Obama wins, even if he won't make it through the first year.

Is It Any Wonder That I Hang My Hat, And Does It Really Matter?

She Won't Have A Thing To Do With Me, A Thing To Do With Me

This is for my father.

Kentucky Fried Chicken here does not have biscuits. They do however, serve everything with fries. And they have all these crazy menu options, including these fillets that are battered up in original recipe and are amazing.

Just giving you the full report pops.

Ce Soir, Je Vais Boire

The days are just whipping by. It was Joan and I's 4 month anniversary the other day. How crazy is that? To all of you who graduated with us: WE HAVE BEEN ADULTS FOR LIKE 5 MONTHS.

Work paid me. Which is great. I presented my new ideas to them, and they ate it up. I think I might be able to be employed there for a full time type job. I'm hoping so at least. I figure I can live quite well on double what I'm making now, and anything over that I can save...which would be extra great. Plus they seem like a company that might front $ to keep me here, especially if they can deduct that money later :)

I am an independent contractor, again. I did it with Spectre, but now I'm back to having my own company registration number and submitting invoices. How adult. How terribly adult.

My new house is really good. It's got a big full on kitchen. It's got a giant back yard. It's got room mates that are mature, have jobs, and don't fuck with you. It's got room mates that are hilarious and just as inappropriate as me. The internet sucks more than the old house, but I think we are going to change that, which is needed. I just hope that when the girl who's stuff is all furnishing my room comes back she doesn't kick me right the fuck out! But c'est la vie.

I got one of the best presents since I've been here in the mail the other day.


Thank you so much Sierra. Artwork on my body and all over my room! No, I haven't put up everything yet...but soon!

Speaking of Sierra! She is coming to visit me. It's more than I can say about the rest of you slackers.
It's going to be a blast, and I'm getting super excited for it. I am probably equally excited about how awesome it will be when my MOM comes to visit in 2 weeks! She has been out of the united states about, twice. No joking. SHE IS COMING TO AUSTRALIA! It is going to do her head in. We might go to Tassie, Great Barrier Reef, Wilson's Prom, Black Spur Drive, Phillip Island, and New Zealand. Well obviously not all of them, but those are the ideas. Oh I'm so excited to have visitors!!! Dad, get down here for 100+ Christmas time.

I have been foiled by my local library. Out of the following books, they have NONE. So that means I might have to buy one (once I get paid again). The booklist: Play it as it Lays - Joan Didion, The World to Come - dana Horn, Arkansas - John Brandon, Here They Come - Yannick Murphey, Voyage Along the Horizon - Javier Marias, Wonderous Life of Oscar Wao - Junot Diaz, Goodbye, Columbus - Philip Roth, and The Ministry of Special Cases. Tell me which to buy first!

Oh and I didn't finish Roberto Bolano. I might get back to it, but for the time being it's going to rest over there in the "Got boring real quick, this author should've gotten back to the story" pile with A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius.

Alright, I don't remember what else I wanted to post about, so this will have to do! Oh and there will be a video uploaded real soon, I just have to wait for my slow internet to get it up.
BE EXCITED.

Good times are coming, but they sure comin' slow

Hi Patrick,

Thank you for putting in an application for the publicist position at PBS.
We've had a lot of applications for the role and unfortunately your
application has been unsuccessful this time.

I appreciate you taking the time to put together a proposal and wish you
all the best.


Again, another position I thought I was perfect for, and don't even make it to the interviews.  WHO ARE THESE OTHER PUBLICISTS, and why don't they find jobs already, and why do they have more radio experience than I do...independent radio experience...and fundraising knowledge, and what the hell.

Anyways.  Three Thousand is going well, at least the whole writing thing.  The paying thing?  Not so well.  I guess it will work itself out, I'm just freaking out since I'm moving and that's going to put a cramp in my finances.  The other problem is that if I don't get a raise or something like they sorta wanted to give me, I'm not going to be making any money except to cover rent so I will need another job, or a wealthy sugar mama.  I'm open to many many situations, please contact.  Hell you don't even have to be wealthy, I'm cheap.

I am moving again.  New house pictures will be up soon.  It'll be good I think.  Trying to find a place with the girls, that they both want, that I am okay with, at the price we want, was getting tricky.  Luckily within a few days of looking, I found a house with people I liked, a location I liked, and a price that was unbeatable.  I'm going to be living close to Joan, and close to trams, and close to cool stuff...plus I'm going to have a cat, 2 chickens, and 3 guinea pigs.  It's like moving back in with people from Boulder, who have a little more room than anyone did in Boulder.  The Brunswick Bubble.

Oh and just for all you lovely people who want to send fan mail:
14 Pitt St.
Brunswick, Victoria
3056
Australia.

Please include a SASE and picture, or two.

I made Mexican the other night and had to use a cough syrup measurement thing as a measuring cup.  It was insane.  Just so you know, 8x30ml = 1cup.  You can't get that conversion anywhere easier than here.

Speaking of conversions, why doesn't everyone who reads this blog whip all their money out of the market right now to keep my exchange rate really good until I use up all of my USD?  Pretty please?  I'm getting 1.30 to 1 right now!

Oh and a quick synopsis of Phillip Island.  It was fun, it was beautiful, it had amazing fucking beaches, it had gigantic waves, I found wafer (!!!) thin skipping rocks EVERYWHERE.  WAFER ROCKS.  Skipped one like 10 times, so good.  Anyways, it's amazing.  I plan on taking everyone who comes down to it, so GET READY.

So with all of that, I'm going to set up for more packing.  I want to finish before I go out tonight.

Music rants:
Munly has a new CD?  Why didn't any of you assholes tell me?  Yo, I'm pissed.
Loving the new Mark Barrage (he's from Melbs!).  Like a little bit denser and better YACHT or Dan Deacon.  I cannot stop listening to Graham Smith/Kleenex Girl Wonder.  It's like a disease or something.  Ponyoak just keeps getting better and better, and I only liked it for that one Anne Marie song at first.  Same with Mojave 3.  I used to not dig them cause they were a wanky version of Slowdive...but they've grown on me so much.  My Life In Art is a daily must listen song.  I am looking forward to sitting down with Out of Tune, Neil's solo disc Sleeping on Roads, and that unreleased Slowdive album I Saw The Sun.
As far as new stuff?  Look what I started using again: http://www.last.fm/user/patcollins
Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't...get used to it.

Her Space Holiday's new one is good.  Might be different than the stuff I love him for (Young Machines/Manic Expressive) but it is fucking good still.  I didn't like that last one.

Psapp's new one is burning to be played, as well as the Micah P. Hinson 7in, the Viking Moses, Tahiti 80, Kitsune 6 compilation and the load of stuff I downloaded at work the other day.  Something new from Graham Smith's little pool that you can get free at www.hugebig.info (and his newest 2xCD for free too!), the new Congotronics (I'm SLOW), and the new Strut release...Calypsoul or whatever.

Lot's of new stuff!  Tell me more tell me more!  Oh and I don't give a shit about Yo! Majesty, so leave me alone.

I Can Decide, While I'm Alive, I'll Feel Alive

Phillip Island...stories to follow. 27/09/2008

Take me on a trip, I'd like to go some day.

Recap of last night:
Wendy James sucks as a DJ and couldn't rock a crowd if her gold sequined jacket depended on it
Macca's is cheaper than Hungry Jacks, helllls yeah.
I am in love with this song, holy, shit.

You are a beautiful and violent word

The Savage Detectives by Roberto Bolano is pretty good. I've come to realize though, it was only recommended to me because of how extremely perverse it is. Thanks. I like to get books I have some interest in, but I know you thought I'd just dig bohemian poets having lots of sex. I know what you think of me now.

The new job is great, and I think it's turning into something like the radio station. I am completely ready to give up my free time to do work stuff, and write things for them, and do whatever they need really. I dig it. Unfortunately today they decided that the worst lollies in the world (candy) were U.S. Spice Drops. Screw them, the line has been DRAWN.

No really, it's a great place to work I think. I have my own little center office desk, I get to sit there and laugh at youtube videos they send me, and I get to be a writer. How crazy is that?! I'm a writer. I have my own byline and everything. PSYCHED. If you want to see it, just shoot over to www.threethousand.com.au. One of my reviews is up there (it's the Isaac Hayes tribute album) and I do the copy for the www.threethousand.com.au/mixtapes section. As well, I will have another review this week for a band called the Delta Spirit, and 2 reviews of things to do at the Melbourne Arts Festival. Really, Patti Smith is reading Ginsberg poems while Philip Glass plays in the background; DJ Spooky is showing a documentary about the sound of ICE in Antartica; and the Schonberg ensemble is playing Gyorgi Ligeti and Schonberg pieces...plus more. MELBOURNE YOU'RE COOL, let's date.

Anyways, job is pretty good, people are super rad, dogs haven't been into work lately...what slackers. I'm coming up with some ideas to extend my work, and they want a proposal by Oct. 14th so I have to make something happen. I'll get it done I guess!

My hair was cut for the cost of making curry. Fair trade.

I finished a disco mix so go tell me what you think. Some of the songs are EQ'd sorta gross...but we will see what the clubs think of it. Maybe I'll get a gig.

That's it for now. I will leave you with this video that I absolutely died for.
Fun with gas.

You were a shining star, it's been dark since you've been gone.

Okay okay okay. It's time for a recap.
Since I've been gone from the blog (I promise, I'll go on another rampage soon) many things have happened.

I had way too much to drink on Joan's birthday. I don't even remember a good portion of it. Drinkers remorse x100. Plus I spilled wine ALL over my Parenthetical Girls shirt. (((GRRRLS)))!

I got real down over not having a job and just sorta wasting away, but I snapped out of it. Back into the saddle, still hunting for jobs.

I DJ'd the other night. My first paying anything in Australia! They gave me $50 for a 1hr set. Plus 4 drink tickets and 5 guestlist spots. Too bad my room mates didn't come, but Lulu and her room mates (the people I knew for the least amount of time in Australia) came out and danced and actually had fun. Which is to say a lot because...well...the club is sorta...ehhhh. Not bad, but the people who go are young (the beard was a dead giveaway of old guy) and they only wanted to hear hits...like Shoop and Gettin' Jiggy Wit' It. Remember how I said Australians are obsessed with the '90s? Exhibit 10.

It was good though, fun. I was sorta dressed up and it got hot so I had come prepared with short shorts and an undershirt. when the last DJ came on after me she said "Are these your pants?!" and then laughed when I told her it was hot hot hot.

Went to another art exhibit. It was Danae's! She does good stuff, for real. If I could afford it, I'd buy it. But I feel like that with a ton of my artist friends' stuff (COUGH COUGH SIERRA). Maybe I'll get her to design me a tattoo so I can get the art for free too. FOREVER.

My rent plummeted because they are selling the house and are having a LOT of house inspections (as well as coming over at 830 to put in MULCH. SHUT THE HELL UP OLD LANDLORD GUY). That stretches my money a bit further though!

So I went nuts trying to get a job the other day. Messaged a TON of clubs to get more DJ gigs, and for some reason...it sorta worked! I have to drop off demos at a couple places. Plus I got a job at www.threethousand.com.au doing music stuff. They are starting me out 1 day a week (PAID!) and then I'm going to work into a bigger role if I can give them something to make me do. They want to expand the music section of the website and so...I'll be up for it. It's a really cool company, there are 2 dogs (they are english bulldogs?) who are like little aliens. They rule. Ping Pong table as the meeting table, and 3 bars in the same building, as well as the rooftop cinema they own! BLING BLANG SUCKAS. In addition to the job hunt, I finally got a callback from Universal. They gave me a quick informal phone interview...well I thought it was informal. I was naked for god's sake. And I think I said some hilariously inappropriate things, but yeah, I think she liked me. That would be pretty wonderful too, especially if it was in addition to threethousand. Cross dem fingas. But yeah, DJ gigs + Three Thousand should be enough to cover rent. Not going to make me lots of savings...but alright for the time being.

Renata is a new friend who is a) polish, b) pretty cool, c) maybe taking joan and I to phillip island...where there is...GET THIS...a PARADE OF PENGUINS EVERY DAY. Like they come out in a big line and waddle their way somewhere. I don't know the specifics, but there is a PARADE...of PENGUINS. As well, her friend Cat has a summer house or something in Golden Beach, which I was officially invited to. Check it.

I applied to volunteer/work for the Falls festival, and I didn't get a ticket to the Meredith music festival ($200 was a bit steep for 3 days with 2 good bands). I hope I get to see what the fuss is about these music festivals in Australia. Note to the US, don't go all festival based. It's too expensive and it sucks compared to small shows. But Falls festival is like in a rainforest...and next to the beach. TAKE THAT.

Okay...let's see. There's tons of more things that have happened, but I can't think.

My foot has been hurting a LOT. It feels like I broke it or something on the side. Totally hurt. I want to just NOT stand on it for like 2 days.

Be excited for mail...you might have had something in my last ship out.

JOB on Tuesday! My official job is making 10 song mixtapes and writing articles. Give me a theme.

Megan and Fatti broke up for like 6 hours or something. I was home, they were broken up, I went and ate a picnic, went to bed, and they were back together. Thank god they updated the facebook relationship status or I would've never known.

Kavalier and Clay was a fantastic book. So so sooooo good. Now I need another. Still looking for those book requests as the library likes to a) not have what I want b) loan out everything that they do have that I kinda want. I'm digging Chabon's novels...but they have crap endings so...give me somethin' with a good ending.

Getting pretty serious about Vietnam. Super excited about child labor and black market dvds. Hells yes. Put in your requests before I go. No promises it won't just be a ton of porno.

Haven't talked to my family in a while. Yo fams. If you're there, let me know you arn't dead...I know a few of you (ONE IN PARTICULAR) have internet at home. Nerd out with me. We can do the whole video chat thing. I'll even put on clothes for it.

My house uses more toilet paper than I thought humanly possible. I don't get it. I think next time I'm going to buy like 1 roll and throw it in there and see who fights over it.

We made puppy chow...which is a mystery to not only our Australian friends, but also a few of you back home. Let's see... peanut butter + chocolate melted into Chex cereal coated in powdered sugar? Yep, it's delicious and you missed out. Tell your parents they screwed you up.

Biore pore strips do not work anymore. What happened? I want to see that gross stuff come OUT of my nose! Ughhhhh.

I got called a ranga today, from this guy who looked like a construction worker. I didn't have time to snap back a witty 'fuck you' comment, so instead I gave him some death eyes. I should've just run up and kicked his smug fat face sitting in his little lame truck.

My hair is too long, but unless a friend cuts it, we're growing it out until I can afford a nice haircut.

Music steez:
August Darnell collection on Strut just gets better and better with each listen. As well, going back to the Mantronix Souljazz release...holy shit. Mt. Eerie has an AMAZING new album out with Julie Dorion and Fred Squire. Can't wait. He is coming to Australia soon!!! This band...Detektivbyrån suck. They start out really pretty like Goon Gumpas Aphex Twin styling...but then they throw in some 1992 web based midi sounds that make it a fucking joke. Don't waste your time...I only did because it was popular on waffles.fm. Last time I trust those dudes. David Vandervelde's new one isn't bad either. Standout track 'Someone Like You.' In other news, 10cc's Dreadlock Holiday is a jam. Jam jam jam.

Can't wait for Cosmic Balearic Beats, the new Sea and Cake album, Mac Lethal's mixtape, and Eddy Current Suppresion Ring. Oh and the Brutals (from Australia) played a heap of old stuff that sucked, and a bit of new stuff that was real good the other night. I'd look forward to that.