In hindsight, I don't want to be like the people I liked

So I discussed with Sierra today the finer points of writing a book. Sallie suggested it, so I mentioned it to a few people, and Sierra said "why not?"

My response was obviously: My life is stupid, plus I suck at writing in proper grammar. I even spelled grammar wrong when I wrote that response to her.

We did agree on one thing, the book title would be "Fucking Marsupials"

Fucking marsupials.

Joan moved out to her apartment...yesterday. Her room mates smoke inside (yuck) and told her they wouldn't when they showed her the house (double yuck, right?).

Other than that though, her room is great. We both got space heaters today...we deemed $20 worth it. Mine smells like plastic and I might die from the fumes tonight. Don't worry, I'll sleep inside my normal cocoon of sheets and filter out that gross air.

Let's talk about words for a moment. Beyond the fact that I just had to rewrite the last sentence like 5 times, these Australians are funny.
Comforter = duvet = duvie (slang) = du-vi
Red head = ginger = ranger (slang, orangutan) = ɹeɪn-gɚ

(look at those linguistics shine, 5 years!)

Those are the two best. Now let's talk about candy (lollies as they are called here).
Anything gummy (you know, gumdrops, fruit slice things, mint leaves, etc...) is like grossly gummy and soft. Joan says it's because we use corn syrup. I say it's too chewy, my jaw clicks after 2 of them and it bothers me to eat with a gross clicking noise inside my head. Ew.
There is a flavor of candy called "Musk." Emma said it was her favorite, and when asked to describe it, she says "Ya know the smell, like cologne that's labeled 'musk'? It's like that."

I vomited right there. Joan made it 3 steps further, vomited, and then we both laughed until we vomited again. Gross.

Emma just brought some home because I didn't believe it. That anyone could eat something like that. Guess what!? Vegimite isn't the only disgusting thing in Australia! Nope not the girls either! Musk candy is like the spray from your $9 bottle of cologne from when you were 12 and you just forgot to close your mouth because you're stupid.

The parrots were up to their freaking-the-shit-out-of-me antics again today. I guess it's not just like mating week, it's like mating every Thursday afternoon. An orgy of bright green and red.
OH! Joan and I saw a pigeon fight yesterday! How crazy! It was like a miniature cockfight between animals stupider than chickens, we just had to stop walking and laugh. Pigeons don't fight to the death though, just till someone walks past them we found out.

As a pre-birthday wish, I hope you all do what Joan and I have planned for the 4th of July. Rum and coke and Jimmy Buffet in honor of my father. Thanks for everything Dad.

I got a sweet new duvie cover at Ikea today. I hope most everyone knows how happy this makes me. Stylicious. $12. From Sweden. What could be better?

I think...
Wait, MEATBALLS could make it better. Damnit, back to Ikea.

Job hunting sucks. Ya know, just so everyone knows. It sucks. Especially when you have a resume that is cool for music jobs but might as well scream "Yeah I wasted 5 years getting a degree and not working in hospitality, child care, or retail. How fucking stupid of me. Oh p.s. I can talk on the radio, cool right?"

I hope to find a small American flag for tomorrow, and to get blasted and teach people the national anthem. I should probably brush up on that myself. Maybe I'll stick to the pledge of allegiance. Or the "beans beans the magical fruit..."

Yeah, the last one. It'll be a hit. I'll record it with digeridoos.

Fucking marsupials.

(pictures to come, Joan took them all!)