DANCE PARTAYYYy

You can go here and download my mix. It's nothing special really, but any comments would be appreciated.

www.myspace.com/djpatacake

or

Pat a Cake - Fucking Marsupials!

Tracklist:
Junior Boys - Double Shadow
Metronomy - My Heart Rate Rapid
Passions - Emergency
Britney Spears - Toxic
Heartsrevolution - Switchblade (LA Riots mix)
Criag Obey vs The Church - Under the Milky Way
Switch - A Bit Patchy (vocal)
Shiny Toy Guns - Le Disko (Tommie Sunshine mix)
The Rapture - W.A.Y.U.H. (Claude Vonstroke mix)
Green Velvet - Shake and Pop
LCD Soundsystem - Yeah (Crass version)
Daft Punk - Harder Better Faster Stronger (vocal)
Spektrum - Kinda New (Dirty South mix)
Tiger Stripes - Survivor
Simian Mobile Disco - It's the Beat
Justice - Stress (Autoremix)

I'll teach ya how to STUNNNT

You have 30 mins to finish the test, and at that time the alarm will sound, pencils must be put down. Use only number 2 pencils please.

This weekend was:
a) stupid and not nearly as fun as previously thought due to the party not being that fun and us meeting another creepy dude
b) as fun is to roller coasters
c) as this blog post is to hilarious
d) all of the above

Watching Beach House on Friday was:
a) Super great, even if I was sorta drunk, and it was packed. They played some great songs and were just as good as I was hoping.
b) alright
c) I don't remember I was drunk
d) I didn't even go see Beach House?

Interesting fact about Milkman Dan, he has no hair on the backs of his calves, and one summer wore only shorts so he could grow it back because he always thought it was from his tight jeans.
This story was:
a) cool
b) exciting
c) Only brought up to then bring up the fact that I have folliculitis all over my thighs because my jeans are too tight I think. Oh and I don't have hair on the tops of my calves either. Weird.
d) boring.

Maybe some of the best news came this weekend in the form of:
a) me finding out I'm pregnant
b) me actually getting offered to get paid for writing articles for Threethousand.com
c) me finding out I'm NOT pregnant
d) I"M HAVING A BABY!

Right now I am listening to:
a) Spanish rap
b) 50 Cent
c) G-Unit
d) All of the above (HEY IT'S THIS ANSWER! COOKINSOUL!)

Short essay section.

Please write a well formed essay, with a thesis, and supporting evidence on the topic:
How did I end up with a bump on the Back/Top of my head?


So yeah, the weekend wasn't as fun as I thought it would be, but that's alright. I just got a bit defeated by Melbourne I feel.
Waking up to good news though is great:

"We've got a few people helping in the office at the moment, and it can be
a bit overwhelming so I couldn't get you on for a few weeks. Also,
ThreeThousand's a bit of a shoestring affair. I'm really only paid two
days of the week to do it, and the rest of the time is spent scrambling to
get freelance stuff done.

One thing that would be helpful in the meantime, is sending through some
pitches/ideas for articles. I could commission them, if we haven't written
about that topic before. And you could write them."

Yay. Now to figure out what I can write about? Music? My life? America? Charming women?
What do I doooooooo.

Joan and I are going to the zoo today I think. That will be fun. We haven't been somewhere touristy in a while so...it's time to get back in the swing of things :)

Went to a couple of gallery openings that were fun this week. There are a couple more coming up, I might try to go check it out. Plus a lot of them have free booze. What's better than getting wasted and looking at art?! Getting wasted, looking at art, and making fun of people!

I burned my hand. Warning: Hot water bottles may cause severe burns if not used properly or being filled while drunk.

The world is a rope she wears

A few fun things this evening. I went out to blast away CVs today...no one really liked me that much except for the girls at the Body Shop. Hey, that'd be nice! We will see. Tomorrow is "sit around and send the newly updated retail CV to any retail jobs on the internet."
We shall see.
The landlord is selling the house we live in, so we have to move now. Oh well! When you come and visit we can go to the beach still, it will just be a short tram ride!

Starting off today's hilarious and informative post, is something in reference to the song the title is taken from.
One of the next lines is "There is a color that smells like her hair"
This reminds me of a conversation I had a while ago with Joan, (and I have had it a few times with other people), about the strange occourance of Synesthesia. You know how people's senses get all mixed up when they are on LSD? Well that happens sometimes, to people, and leads to GREAT things. Maybe more times than not it leads to lots of hard learning problems...but hey, Liszt had it. We studied it a bit in Language, Culture, and Cognition and it's really interesting because sometimes people have it with numbers taking on certain colors (i.e. 5 is red 2 is blue, and a blue number can not divide a red number without a remainder). Totally amazing. Someone smack me in the head until I get Synesthesia, please. I would like to taste colors without having to do harmful (or maybe not so harmful) drugs.

Second on today's list is...missed connections. You know that section of Craigslist where people go "Oh I saw you, you are pretty, let's have sex." I love them. I love reading them and I absolutely love posting them. It's like, hey, here is a PERFECT opener, that I can think up in the comfort of my own home, be witty, cute, and creative...and put it out there as my first contact with you. First impressions right? On the other hand though...there are some weird ones, and Jen decided to give me a great one recently. You might remember Jen from her absolute great wiener dogs in banana costumes in banana boxes picture. She's great. Anyway, here is the missed connection, entitled Who left this note under my head as I napped?
Hilarious.

Last, but absolutely not least, I woke up this morning to 2 frantic messages (to my home AIM account, and my old work AIM account) from Hannah, my old boss in Portland, asking me what my email was. She had a great surprise for me, and I laughed a lot this morning when I received it. If she didn't buy it, if she saw this record and did not spend the money on it, I will literally kill her. I will send her anthrax in the mail and shit. Portland will feel my wrath if I cannot physically touch with my hands one day.


The hip hypnotist knows it is a good idea. I'm sure there are a few other people that would agree, and a heap of others that would say "That's bullshit." Whatever, it wasn't my fault.

I noticed that the phrase "How are you doing?" is becoming more foreign to me, due to the fact that Australians say "How are you going?" instead.

I AM ADAPTING TO DOWN UNDER. I WILL BE A FUCKING ABORIGINAL BY THE TIME I COME HOME. IT WILL BE NEAT.

Digeridoo championship will be the first themed party I throw.

A flower bloomed inside my cold cold heart

Well well well.

Here we are again, reading about jews.
Of course, most of you know I'm not Jewish, but I believe Michael Chabon is. If he isn't, there is some serious jewenvy going on in his brain. No, he is, for sure, and once again I am reading one of his fantastic novels.

I finally finished 100 Years of Solitude, and as earlier stated, 50 years were quite enough. My one sentence review: Beautiful imagery and mysticism, although it all fell apart when the world of of the Buendia's became modern and ugly. Like for real, it should've stayed in the past. Thankfully though, that book is now in my past. I can start reading wonderful stories, about jews.

The Adventures of Kavalier and Clay is going to get me to start reading comics I feel. I don't know if I like that or not, but we will see I guess.

I was privy to some good news yesterday. First, Talor, a wonderful new friend of mine, called and said "HEY LET'S HANG OUT!" So we did just that. Sidenote, her name is said Taylor, but her parents were like, "Whoops, left out the y, oh well, she can just rhyme with valor for now on."

She had a few pieces of good news, mainly in the fact that she MIGHT know the guy who is possession of my CV at Polyesther records. She MIGHT be able to put in a good word for me. As well, she MIGHT get me a chance to meet the girl in charge of that website I've been flipping out for, www.threethousand.com. I sent them a little email being like "Hey if you need/want any help with anything, writing, slave work, whatever, let me know." Like most emails I have sent to people in this country, it has been wonderfully ignored. Australia, get with it, it takes half a second to hit reply, type "no", and hit send. Shiiiiiiiiiiit, this is nothing like what I thought the future would be like.

Talor also helped me to discover that hot water bottles (the full on rubber kind) might be one of the best inventions ever. I should've just gotten like 4 of these instead of the heater, and laid them all around me. Maybe I could make a little harness for them, add a few pounds sure, but I would have a refillable heater. Who knows, maybe it would be cool to just toss it in my backpack when I head to the city. That'd probably be pretty rad. I'm going to be the smartest person to ever own one of these things. It's only been like 12 hours and I already have extra inventions and uses for this simple heating device.

I have taken about 3 days or so to try and get my stupid $200 soundcard for my computer/dj setup to work. I was so fed up with it today, and I was hungry, which means I was extra extra fed up with everything. I got food, had a whiskey on the rocks, and sat down to TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS. Turns out, 2 processors, as opposed to common sense, do NOT make things work better in the DJ software I am using. So click that off, and poof, things work. Fuck you Ableton (that's the software).

I'm psyched, DJ setup almost completely stable, functioning, and ready to play out. Just have to make a couple example mixes and then pass them along.

Someone let their dog poop on our steps. How messed up is that? I'm going to kick every dog I see in this suburb for the next year. Watch out pooches, you're all dead to me.

I had to walk past 4 piles of puke the other night. St. Kilda: party nation.

Wednesday there is a bunch of couchsurfers (www.couchsurfing.com) going to see the tiny (TINY) penguins on the St. Kilda pier. Who's excited? This guy.

End transmission, I don't know what else there is to say. The lotto numbers for tomorrow are 18, 02, 47, 33, and 79. Powerball multiplier is 42.

It's beat time, it's hop time.

I don't have much to update but there are quite a few pictures so we will probably just do it that way.

Last night Megan, Fatima, Joan, and I had burgers and sat around talking about farting for about 5 hours. I'm not talking like, oh every now and then we talked about farting, it was full on flatulence conversation mode for a LONG time. It was hilarious. That's why I love these girls.

I have discovered that I like poutine fries. Ya know, gravy + cheese?

Still no job. Still looking. Going to go insane if I don't get one soon though. Okay, well here's pictures. If something interesting happens, you shall be the first to know.

These are all kinds of out of order, so...we will just have to comment on each one to tell you what's going on:




Joan and I getting silly with a lychee fruit. They're sorta weird, I like the juice better.


Foooooooty. We went to the game today. Not a box, but real close to the field. We could've been front row but decided to let the crazy fans have their space.



Al (the older one), Gabe (the tiny middle one), and Hannah (the other tiny one) at the footy game. Al got us the tickets, it was a blast.


Me and Joan in our outfits for the Sweet Jelly Roll a while back. There is another one cominnnnng up!
Me the day after the Jelly Roll, looking dashing as ever I do say.

Megan has to wee.

Take 1, Mexican night #2.

Take 2, Mexican night #2. Left to right: Sandi, Danae, Eliza, Fatimah, and Olga with her massively burnt fingers.

These are my friends.

Fond memories of a wiener dog farm

Forgot about this little ditty.



Thanks Jen.

Oh and most satisfying meal under $1.50? Ramen over rice with 2 spring rolls, soy sauce, and sweet chili sauce. IN YOUR FACE EXCHANGE RATE.

We were just two people in need, it doesn't have to be some fucked up tragedy

Notable mentions in the life of Patrick Collins:
I made hollandaise sauce. How impressive right?! :) It was good, and the poached egg was alright...I didn't really cook it long enough and it was a bit runny in middle...so I will have to get better at that.

Joan and I went to a bar (well, we were wandering around Melbourne Central and stumbled upon) that had free champagne for ladies and cheap beer. Joan got drunky drunk and I had a couple pints. It was great.

The next day we went back, just to find some food, and found out that around closing time in Melbourne Central, the food court has deals on the remaining food. Tons of asian food, pasta, or pizza for real cheap.

Our next Thursday is PLANNED. Get drunk, go downstairs and get cheap food, then go get more drunk.

Today was gross out. It was cold, rainy, and boring. But it was a nice rest from the adventures of last night.

The most notable observation I have made about the house parties we have been to is that Australians a) like to dance, and are into it way more than American youth and b) Australians listen to (almost exclusively at the parties) 90s throwback and ironic music. Want some ODB, Britney, Justin, and the theme from Labyrinth all in the same set? Come to Australia. I guess it's alright, I will just have to remember to break out the Jock Jams when I DJ any house parties.

We went out last night to see some bands at the Forum again. Emily was going to come out and since we hadn't seen her in ages, I figured it was important to get some face time with her. Daniel came out as well, and we sat around talking for a few hours until the velvet clad jazz singer came on. Then we sat around and made fun of her. Emily digs her music/her, and that's nice, but it wasn't the best thing around. Joan and I are slowly coming to realize that Australia's music scene isn't nearly as rad as their exports would make it seem.

Anyways, so after many velvet jumpsuit jokes, we decided to run out to a bar that Joan and I heard about and hadn't been to see yet. http://www.thecroftinstitute.com.au/
The theme at this place is like...old high school chemistry room. It was great. Sandi joined us and upon learning that we wanted to go, she said "Well I don't really remember where it is but it is up off the worst rape alley in the city." She wasn't joking, and it was just like a mini maze of alleys to get to this place. Anyways, cool cool bar, a bit pricey, but probably worth it. We had a drink and then went up to Sandi/Eliza/Olga/Tereza's house to sit around for a bit before hitting the parties.

The next hour was filled with bad 80s disco videos, bad 80s music videos, and a hell of a lot of Kate Bush, who after one or so song I could do without. She's good, I get it, but she sounds like magic flute voice or a baby bat more terrified than it usually is.
Good conversations and the finding of a beer in Australia that I actually LIKE (FINALLY) led to a great night.

We took a $30 cab ride to buttfuckegypt (West Brunswick) and it was filled with more drinking (the ride got boring, it was long), lots of laughing, a strobe light of a camera flash, and us changing our destination 3 times on the poor cabby.

Party central when we got there though, well actually, pee in the street central because half of the 10 person party cab had not known it was a long ass drive and therefore did not prepare, myself included. Okay, so then it was party central, and we got up on the dancefloor, took over, had a blast, Megan lost her phone, I almost lost my glasses (thank god for Eliza's quick hands), and I realized after I drank half the bottle of wine that mixing spirits, beer, wine, and dancing was only going to end in pain. Puke in the street central followed by this-line-is-way-too-fucking-long pee in the street central again followed by another good hour or two of dancing. It was a blast.

We walked in the rain for a good 20mins, got baklava, then grabbed a cab back to Fitzroy and Olga/Eliza/Tereza/Sandi's house to crash on their couches. St. Kilda is too far away...I can't wait to move out now. Slept with a cat named Sailor for most of the night, woke up to Olga (the trooper) going out to work at like 7am after MAYBE 3 hours of sleep, and then woke up to go back to buttfuckegypt to get Megan's phone. My shoes and socks were still wet, which was the worst part of the day probably.

So now I'm back home, my internet is running fast (yay music downloadz), and I'm just hanging out for the night I think. Went and got me some food at the Safeway so I might get to cooking something sooner than later.

Good weekend, for sure.

p.s. Don't waste your time with the Avenue D - Grade D Beef (D sides) album, it's fucking horrid, and I love Ave D.

I reached out with good intentions, but I only did more harm

Welllllllllllll Melbourne nightlife, impress me, come on.

Last night I went out with the girls, met up with Eliza and Danae and Olga and had a little drink at a place called Hell's Kitchen, then made it up to the so called late night hotspot of Melbourne. Some backstory: Melbourne bars used to not have a closing time, but in the past couple months they just started enforcing a 2am lockout, for most bars. There are a few that get past it somehow, and the one I have heard about most is Pony. Pony is supposedly a place where everyone goes after the other bars close and gets really sloppy. Megan says that most of the time it's just full of people making out and being ridiculously drunk. Oh and they have shitty bands play. Things were looking up when we got there because they were playing the Tenebre theme that Goblin does...but high drink prices and a less than packed house made Pony quite disappointing. Maybe we'll just have to get crazy and go there later. Met a new girl of the whole crowd last night, she was nice. And got to talk a lot with Olga who ISN'T from Warsaw like I thought. She is from Krakow which is like the underground hip city of Poland I guess. Maybe I'll visit sometime. I think I'd like that.

Joan and I found a map shop. Upside down, pacific centered maps are crazy. Absolutely crazy. If you want one let me know, they're like $10 each :P

Joan and I also walked along the beach yesterday. It was sunny, and nice, and we got to take off our shoes and just walk for about an hour. From South Melbourne beach back home to St. Kilda. It was really nice. Lot's of good conversation about an array of topics.

Once again my posters are falling off my walls. Come on blu-tack, get to it. I didn't want post-it glue for my posters.

Danae and I had a good chat about music. Joan and I went to see one of the great locals we've been hearing about last night. It was a free show, thank god, because there were so many people talking that we could barely hear the band. It was annoying, but I'm excited to see her for real.

Went to Von Haus, maybe not as hidden as I thought it would be, but totally good food and a great atmosphere. Romantic date spot for the real.

Mini breakdown the other night led to a frantic email. I think I wish I would've cut off a lot more contact back home, it would've made things completely easier I feel. We will see how many bridges I let crumble while I'm here. Bye.

I feel at home in Melbourne. I wish I had a job, but I really feel good here. I want to stay I think. I'm almost sure. If it happens, then great.

New music update:
Parenthetical Girls have a new CD out, lots of strings, just a furthering of the last one which was GREAT but...I like the sorta lo-fi ness of the first record. It was just so much less complicated. But I have only gone through this new one once.
Space Oddities is a record that got a review in the melbourne subcultural guide I've been sorta following. Sounds like space disco greatness.
Looking forward to: King Darves, The Philly Sound instrumentals disc, TZU, David Vandervelde, Laura Marling, and Jaguar Love.

Time to shower, time to get ready to do something.

Fatty wannabe, give me back my gut.

Transcript from the first conversation I had this morning:
(6:07:19 PM) patrocks1190: LAURA
(6:07:25 PM) patrocks1190: You will so appreciate this dream
(6:07:41 PM) patrocks1190: I just woke up and dreamt that I found 4 boxes next to the bus stop
(6:08:09 PM) patrocks1190: 1 box of snickers and oreo flavored ice cream, like tubs and snickers bars and snickers drumsticks
(6:08:18 PM) patrocks1190: And then 1 box full of meat pie things
(6:08:24 PM) patrocks1190: 1 box full of veggie pie things
(6:08:34 PM) patrocks1190: 1 cylynder of giant oreos
(6:08:49 PM) patrocks1190: And 1 box of wafer bars with chocolate in the middle that looked way better than I can explain
(6:09:43 PM) laura: omg
(6:09:47 PM) laura: ARE YOU STARVING TO DEATH
(6:09:49 PM) laura: what is going on
(6:09:58 PM) patrocks1190: lol
(6:10:14 PM) patrocks1190: I want cookies and cream ice cream so bad


It's 10am. Man I'm glad I missed that first bus in the dream and had to talk to that annoying little kid until the next one came. Oh and my childhood best friend showed up, sup Brok. I never realized how crazy his name is until I just wrote it. I wonder what his parents were thinking. Anyway, this is a big deal since I don't dream much. In your face subconscious, I remembered this one!

I remember eating carrots last night, but by the looks of the ends next to my bed, I actually fed a entire family of rabbits with them. Cool...?

I have big plans of staying in bed until I am warm, putting eyedrops in my extremely Sahara-like eyeballs, and maybe leaving the house to go hang with Joan and get a tub of ice cream.

Comment that I woke up to and enjoyed immensly, from my sister: "...then I was just like, Batman should shut the hell up. He doesn't need to talk. In fact, he shouldn't talk at all. "

Runner up? Also from Sallie: "I also started reading my Biology book, which I also like, strange enough. I still can't say it was worth $99 used, but what the hell. It has leopards on the front, so at least it's pretty. "

haha.

Stalker's my style, and if I get caught, I'll deny, deny, deny

It took a lot to get me around to listening to the new Why? album. Mainly because it made me very sad and I didn't want to deal with that. Now that I have though, it's just as genius as the first. So go get it and take it all in if you haven't.

The main points of this blog are what I have done today. This has consisted of making an Italo mix, online risk, a trip to Lentils As Anything, and going to see the new Batman movie.

The Italo mix was for Danae, who I think might be the most musically knowledgeable person we have met, maybe Emily. Who knows. Anyway, she likes talking music, which led to us chatting about some stuff and we got onto Italo disco. Italo is this genre of dance music, made in Italy (right?!) that was only made due to the economic inflation (ie no imports) of Italy, the availability of new instruments, and the separation from the death of disco in the states. Anyways, it turns out, from 2 different sources, that Australia may not have heard of, or experienced, the resurgence of Italo like the rest of the world. So I spent a lot of time making a little Italo mix for Danae including actually whipping it up in Ableton. It is pretty good, but not perfect, and since I didn't give it to her, I might do a new one tomorrow. Maybe it will help me get a DJ gig too, since she works at the Espy. We will see.

Online Risk is much more enjoyable. It doesn't take ages, maybe 30 mins/game. There are a lot of childish people on it though, so it's not always enjoyable.

So we heard about this place, Lentils As Anything that you can go get food, and then give whatever you want for the payment. They expect that you will give them more than the food cost and if you don't, someone else will. It's a REALLY cool idea, and since it's all just vegetarian lentils, rice, curries, and such...and the chefs and staff are volunteers, it seemed like a very...Boulder...institution. Joan and I went for dinner, and it was really hip, really cool, really small, pretty crowded, and very very good. The only problem though, which is sort of a big problem, right before we left, some man went to pay, dropped his $5 in the box, and the chef asked him how much he put in, which by itself is pretty rude when you're going to have a business that isn't supposed to care what you pay, right? So when the guy said $5, the chef then says "Oh that's not even enough to cover the ingredients" and was totally mean to this guy, who didn't have more money, so he left, as the chef continued to give him shit on the way out, and then talk about him, loudly, in front of all the other people, and how horrible that was. Anyways, obviously, Joan and I pulled out more cash than we had intended to pay, but we didn't want to get publicly humiliated. It just left a very very sour taste in our mouths, and went against everything the business was about it seemed. We thought about it, and we payed $14 for probably less than $5 worth of food, plus volunteer cooks. It just sucks, the ingredients are like rice and lentils, two of the cheapest foods in the world, which is why you probably make a profit at the 'pay what you want' pricing, so don't berate people for doing what you asked them to do. If you want a certain amount, put it on the menu, you'll still get customers. Blech. Okay, tirade over.


Batman was good but the little virtual reality like sequence near the end, in the building, made me want to have a seizure and puke all over everyone. Just to teach them a lesson that they need to not put crazy stupid shit like that in movies. As well, what was up with his voice? It was like "Okay, here, we want you to talk like normal, but you have to have this cough drop in your mouth at all times, and every now and then we'll give you a dose of chloroseptic so your tongue is numb as hell." "Like thiffss?" "Perfect. You sound absolutely retarded. Go fight crime."

Whateva, it was good. Way better than expected.

There are very few plans this week/weekend. We have a track suit party on Sat. for the olympic opening ceremonies or something. On Thurs. I'm being taken to a place called Von Haus, that is supposedly super hip and underground. Unmarked door, inexpensive food, expensive wine, 10 tables, 1 big bar, etc... I'm excited, just so I can act like I knew about it all along to people I show from here on out. Biggggg shotttttt.

The Stones in '65 want total satisfaction kid, but The Stones in '69 see grace in just getting what you need

Because I did not plan, I am home tonight instead of at the Arthur Russel documentary. That's alright though, there is another screening of it and I will buy tickets online so as not to miss it again.

Since I am home though, I thought I should clarify some things that I realized are wrong in previous posts, as well as point out other strange things in the land of Fucking Marsupials. I hope you got that.

First, a retraction. My interning editor did not catch that in fact the Australian word for duvet, is not duvie, but instead, doona. He is now fired, and I don't look too stupid trying to fit in with the other Melburnians by saying doona. No I'm joking, we all look like jackasses when we say that word.

Second, another mistake by the former editorial staff of this blog, fanny is old slang here in Australia. No one uses it, and in fact, I get made fun of from Australians for using it. How terrible is that? Thanks for nothing whoever told me that.

So don't go running around propagating those terrible facts of mine. I promise to be a bit more vigilant in that area of the blog.

Also, two small facts to keep you up to date. Australian light switches are opposite ours, they turn on downwards. It's strange.

As well...according to a close source, Australians don't date anymore, they've moved on and are now to the point where they just, quoting from my source, "get drunk and fuck." I'm a very civilized person compared to these savages, and it's like I come from another time and world.

Okay, Fatti and I just got invited to a party so instead of sitting around like a bum, we'll go drink like some.

Bury your broken self and head out west.

What do you do when you have nothing to do? Spend money.

No really. I have been doing pretty good with my budget. I just need to get some sort of income. I guess prostitution is creeping up quite quickly in the available options. Or porn.

I have officially forgotten all of the knots I worked so hard to learn in my last week or so with my family. I will relearn them though, because saying I know how to tie a French bowline sounds so sexy.

Today I got up before noon (accomplishment) and was able to experiment with something I have been waiting to figure out for a while now.

McDonald's egg mcmuffin (the only thing besides fries worth eating there) is completely different here. As well, I felt like quite a dolt while looking for it on the menu, because there is no 'egg mcmuffin' just a 'bacon & egg mcmuffin.' Gross right? Well bacon is just ham I guess so it was the same thing. But grosser. MMMMmmmm. I'm about to blow everyone's mind though here: Orange Juice from McDonald's is actually WORSE in Australia. I know I know, you're thinking "How in the hell can that even happen?!" and I will reassure you that it is not because it has dirt in it or something. It's actually just vomit in a cup with some Tang sprinkled on. Mmmmmm. Cherish your actual crappy orange juice in the states, because it tastes like Jesus in a cup (not his blood or anything weird like that) compared to this stuff.

That was the longest tirade about McDonald's I think I've ever even imagined. Oh and right after I thought it up, while eating it on my bed, I went back to sleep. 6am is way too early to be up when you can't even fill the 8 hours of your normal lazy ass day.

The girls found my blog and took offense to the 'tidy but not clean' comment. I figure I will set things straight for everyone. The shower curtain was covered in mold and maybe one of the worst things I've ever had to touch (and I've touched poop). The floor made Joan's feet turn black, but that's okay because Joan's feet are gross anyway (ZING). And the final thing that made me say that was the little cup they have to rest your toothbrush in the bathroom made my toothbrush handle sorta smell like mildew, which is my most HATED smell. Easily. Anyways, other than that the girls are wonderful, and Megan and Fatimah are full of wit and class.

Tonight is the Arthur Russel movie premiere and disco party. I have been talking about it all week, but I don't know if I want to go now. I am feeling very blah about it, especially since it was supposed to be in a garage (the party) like the old paradise garage days, but instead is at one of the sleezy, normal, downtown clubs. I feel like (and others have given me the impression that) Roxanne will just be full of people who I won't want to really be around, especially for something as lame (or actually amazing) as a dress up disco party. I wish it was just people who would want to come and know Arthur Russel, and move to the disco loft jams of the 70s/80s NYC. I guess I'm just too much of a snob. We will see. I plan on going to at least one part of it tonight, probably the movie.

Sigur Ros is also tonight, Joan and Megan are going.

I have resigned myself to buying a phone with a camera, so until I get a job and can afford that, no pictures unless they are from my laptop or from Joan. Who has some of our dress up night for the Sweet Jelly Roll. I bet they are on her blog. Oh and when I say phone with a camera, I don't mean some shitty cameraphone. They have cameras, with phones built in. Or at least that's what they market them as. Cool eh?

As far as new adventures...we have been pretty lame over the past few days. Just sorta trying to find jobs and such. We found a GREAT little breakfast place in middle park. Yummy poached eggs with hollandaise. It's really really cute, and the main waiter reminds me of Dave Sanford, my old boss from Spectre. Like, he looks exactly like him but is gay.

No big dinners really, the girls made a yummy curry that we ate out of coconut bowls they brought back from Vietnam, and Joan and I were going to make quiche but instead we bought a premade pack of 18 petite quiche. Yum. Megan's cousin is coming over and we are making food tomorrow though! It should be a blast, as I dig on our dinner parties. They are fun. As long as we don't invite the CREEPIEST GUY IN MELBOURNE. But I think we have that under control now that we know who he is.

OH! I forgot to mention how awesome Vietnam sounds from my room mates. They both got incredible coats, shirts, and shoes made (ON THE SPOT) for super cheap. They take like, 1 day and you pick out the fabric and get it fitted and everything! I'm like DYING to go over there now. It'd be so much fun to take a couple hundred and just go get a few suits fitted the way I like them and made up, a few fitted shirts, and a nice coat. Man! Eff Thailand and underage prostitution, we are heading to Vietnam for underage and underpaid workers! I love you Asia!

Okay, wrapping this up with a few thoughts.
New job leads:
Youth and Education Music Coordinator, 55k/year part time. This one is big, cross everything for me. I think I have what it takes, actually, I know I have what it takes, I just wish my dumb ass didn't submit my 'not-so-great' cover letter and instead wrote up a nice special one. But I was too excited and just attached and sent. Let's hope they get past that and read into my CV that Radio 1190 was a youth oriented station...that's the big point I didn't think I got across. www.theartscentre.com.au/employment

Experienced Copywriter
This one is funny, so I thought I'd shoot for it. Everybody has been telling me they like my writing style, I did copy for the station, we can hope. Plus, I feel at home with this company already, just from their job posting. It's... here.

As well, I handed out 7 or so CVs the other day to record stores down in Fitzroy. We will see, not expecting much from them.

The other thought for the day? How in the hell do I hang all my socks to dry when I have 40 pairs or something? Ridiculous. Oh and I hate the wind. Still.